where your treasure is, there will your heart also be.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007


disappearances happen. pains go phantom. blood stops running and people, people fade away. there's more i have to say, so much more, but, i disappeared.


people die everyday. but i believe we can survive this. i believe in the good. i believe that its been a hell of a year, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that we will be okay. i believe alot of things. i believe that my friends will always be there for me, and i believe that if i eat a tub of butter and no one sees, that the calories dont count. and i believe that when i tell you you're making a terrible mistake we will be okay because i believe that you're my best friend. i believe that even though you have made a mistake, you'd be okay. i believe we survive. i believe that believing we survive, is what makes us survive.


as she sits in the corner, face to the floor. she dispells smoke from her lips, and slowly floats away with it. if letting go was so much pain, and tears were thick enough to stain, the pavement that slowly become her bestfriend when she needs to run away.


yours truly

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


baby let me just save you the time. i can see where this is going, tears will fall and hearts will break. love's a game we all must play, so dry your eyes and be on your way, as for me, i'll be okay.
i talk to you as to a friend, i hope thats how you've come to be. are we back now where it all began? have you finally forgiven me? it feels as though we've made amends, like we found a way eventually. it was you who picked the pieces up, when i was a broken soul, and glued me back together, returned me to what others stole. you gathered my dreams in, when they all blew away, and tricked them back into me. you saved me when i was almost dead. i dont wanna hurt you, i dont wanna make you sway, like i know i've done before, i will not do it anymore. i've always been a dreamer, i've had my head among the clouds, now that im coming down, wont you be my solid ground?


we think we need so many useless things, when all we really need is time to breathe.


yours truly

Saturday, March 17, 2007


its not always rainbows and butterflies, its compromise that moves us along


have you realised that love always turns to hate? yeah its this evil process that almost everyone goes through. i dont know how to explain it, or maybe i just dont want to, because if i do, there'll probably be none of space left for me to say anything else, cause i might just explode, but hell, you'd be bored to death reading my sob story. you know what sucks more.. is that when you feel that your life only revolves around one stupid person, yeah that feeling of NOT letting go. well, its not that you dont want to, its just, you want to so much it hurts. and thank god for friends, cause they always make things better. well, theres gotta be more to life right? theres gotta be more to life than stupid and petty fights, or like what im gonna wear today, or like shes prettier than me, i need a face lift, or feeling like someone else is better. honestly, we are not at fault for who we are, and its not nice feeling like crap for what someone else has done, or is doing. i mean, hello, makes no goddamn sense. because then soon after, we start to regret and try to pin all blame on yourself, which is obviously the dumbest thing anyone could ever do, or if that doesnt work, we curse and swear at god himself, and ask him, to bring back the 'good old times'(HAH). but you see, the good things tend to fade away faster than any other thing does. but if it fades away, then maybe it wasnt even good to begin with.


trying to drag me down, and fill me with self doubt, im so over it.


yours truly

Thursday, March 08, 2007


you know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. you would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. santa claus, the tooth fairy, prince charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. most people turn to the things and people they can trust. but the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

at the end of the day faith is a funny thing. it turns up when you don't really expect it. it's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. the castle, well, it may not be a castle. and it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. see once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy.


yours truly

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


when you come to a dead end; no people to turn to, no place to run to, how do we survive? how do we cope with now being able to lean onto something? how do we cope with no legs to stand on? somehow, or someway, no matter how hard we try to pray and ask for help, it aint gonna come. so we either stand or we fall. some crumble to dust and some stall with no direction, but some, very few, pick themselves up, all over again. they start running back, to the start from where they came from, and begin from the end. from there, we can rewrite almost every page of our lives, and we can choose all over again, which path we should lead. and when we finally succeed, when we finally get there, things will be much easier, you wouldnt have believed that things would be this right again. but the hardest part to getting there, is being alone.

perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically, to those who hardly think about us in return.


yours truly

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